Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Friday, November 02, 2007
Alexxis - Halloween 2007
After arriving back home, dropping off the warehouse purchases at the store, we made our way over to see the little Miss preparing for her first Trick or Treat! Isn't she adorable in her little Elmo costume? Here's mommy attempting to get things straightened out and look at that smile peeking out!
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Over the river and through the woods....
but not to Grandma's house we'll go...
We received another Thanksgiving Day invitaion. Not the first, but the fourth!!!! Talk about persistance, sheessshhhh, LOL! Our good friends, Sheila and Dennis telephoned yesterday to say, "it wouldn't be Thanksgiving Day without us!" So, we've accepted. Sheila has invited us 3 times prior to this already and simply would not take "No." for an answer.
Don and I first met them when I had Partly Paper at the Marion Farm and Flea Market. The newest one, for anyone familiar with the area. Dennis had a booth opposite from mine with the most amazing woodcrafted furniture you've ever seen in your life! The four of us instantly made that connection and bonded, inviting one another to each others homes, having cookouts, camp outs, and many parties together. You couldn't ask for a sweeter couple. Due to low sales, I was sad when Dennis decided to pull his booth and a few short months later, I pulled mine out. This freed up a lot of weekends for all of us to continue on our journey of friendship. That has been two years ago, and to this day, we've managed to stay in touch, visiting with one another often.
I've been meaning to take some photographs of them and their home. I tell you it is like heaven over there! Country life suits them and their property is amazing! Surrounded by cow pastures, small rolling hills, a creek that gently winds along beside their property, the clearing in the woods where we've camped and cooked and sung karoke around a roaring fire. So, today I'm taking my camera along! Hopefully, we will arrive with an appetite and early enough to get some outdoor shots.
I'm also excited to see Shadow. He is Chaos' father. If Chaos turns out to be half the dog his father is, we got ourselves a good one. Unfortunately, Chaos will be staying home today since we're going to Don's mother's home first. Shadow will however thank us as Chaos is still a young pup in his daddy's eyes; one with too much energy all in one place, LOL!
Whatever your Thanksgiving plans are for the day, we wish you a "Happy Thanksgiving!" May it be everything you hoped for and so much more! Be safe and don't eat too much! {*smiles*}
We received another Thanksgiving Day invitaion. Not the first, but the fourth!!!! Talk about persistance, sheessshhhh, LOL! Our good friends, Sheila and Dennis telephoned yesterday to say, "it wouldn't be Thanksgiving Day without us!" So, we've accepted. Sheila has invited us 3 times prior to this already and simply would not take "No." for an answer.
Don and I first met them when I had Partly Paper at the Marion Farm and Flea Market. The newest one, for anyone familiar with the area. Dennis had a booth opposite from mine with the most amazing woodcrafted furniture you've ever seen in your life! The four of us instantly made that connection and bonded, inviting one another to each others homes, having cookouts, camp outs, and many parties together. You couldn't ask for a sweeter couple. Due to low sales, I was sad when Dennis decided to pull his booth and a few short months later, I pulled mine out. This freed up a lot of weekends for all of us to continue on our journey of friendship. That has been two years ago, and to this day, we've managed to stay in touch, visiting with one another often.
I've been meaning to take some photographs of them and their home. I tell you it is like heaven over there! Country life suits them and their property is amazing! Surrounded by cow pastures, small rolling hills, a creek that gently winds along beside their property, the clearing in the woods where we've camped and cooked and sung karoke around a roaring fire. So, today I'm taking my camera along! Hopefully, we will arrive with an appetite and early enough to get some outdoor shots.
I'm also excited to see Shadow. He is Chaos' father. If Chaos turns out to be half the dog his father is, we got ourselves a good one. Unfortunately, Chaos will be staying home today since we're going to Don's mother's home first. Shadow will however thank us as Chaos is still a young pup in his daddy's eyes; one with too much energy all in one place, LOL!
Whatever your Thanksgiving plans are for the day, we wish you a "Happy Thanksgiving!" May it be everything you hoped for and so much more! Be safe and don't eat too much! {*smiles*}
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Here is a sample of the smiles, I get...
Unfortunately, my flash went off and I captured her with her pretty blue eyes closed. She still has a hint of Angel Kisses on her eyelids. {smile} And did you notice those three pearly whites? She also just got one of her top front teeth through the gum while visiting this past weekend. Although teething, she takes it all in stride. Can you tell she is "my girl"? LOL!
Grammie's Girl...
Ahhh, Ha.... I got my camera batteries and just have to share this sweetness! Alexxis McKenzie, almost 5 and a half months old, playing with her toys at Grammies. At this point, she was more interested in getting her hands on Grandma's camera than in having her picture taken.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Yesterday was such a wonderful day!
After posting to my blog, I received a telephone call from my dd, Amber. Amber recently found a job cooking and is being trained as a server and bartender. It is part-time for now, however, she is loving it. Anyways, our time together had been spread out far and few inbetween visits, so yesterday she suggested she leave Alexxis with Chris and we go do something together. Isn't that sweet?
We had a wonderful lunch at Bob Evans and spent several hours in WalMart in the baby section looking at clothes for Alexxis, picking up a few outfits for layaways, ect. From there we headed to Toys...and played for several hours, making some selections, and putting in two layaways --- one mine and one hers. I spent another $85 on items for stocking stuffers, a few outfits, and a toy or two. Alexxis's stocking stuffers are mainly items she'll be needing: a new sippy cup which was too cute to pass up --- with a button on the bottom that says, "the cow says mooooooo!" something Amber is always telling her, LOL! Two packages of tights, one with the cutest frilly ruffles on the butt of them. {Hey, I couldn't resist!}, some more spoons, some small lidded bowls, and a variety of other necessities like socks, ect. I ended up with 3 more toys somehow, too.
Amber and I were discussing Christmas and thinking since Alexxis will be only 8 months at Christmas that we'd both wrap some toys up for Christmas and keep the others to give to her later. That works well for me as we both purchased a lot of educational type things and some are beyond her current scope of concepts and can easily be given to her later. We also talked about having her picture taken at Christmas and another one with Santa, how she'll love the gifts we each choose for her, things we want to teach her, discovering the world with her, ect.
Amber is an excellent mom, She's so much fun to watch interacting with Alexxis and is just as silly as the baby is. She full of laughter, delight, and imagination and is teaching Alexxis these things. She talked about tapping Alexxis's hand the other day and telling her "No." for the first time and how it upset her when Chris's mom said "she's too little to understand that." Amber is a firm believer that no age is too young to start anything.
We also talked about family traditions. Things that her and I did together, sillly things, like having "an upside down day" Were we stayed in our pj's, had meals backwards, watched TV, and just spent time playing together. Amber remembers those days and me spending time coloring with her in her coloring books, LOL! We talked about the importance of family mealtime, table manners, and Amber was surprised when I told her about my childhood. How Sundays had a "blue law" and you couldn't shop or buy anything so Sunday's were spent at Grandma's preparing meals, eating together, and playing games. Amber was like, "I didn't know that, Mom. That is so cool! Can we start doing that with Alexxis?" {Yes, honey, of course we can.} We talked about Amber finding a church to belong to, how she worries about some of the things she does, her concerns, etc. However, she knows the importance of teaching her early and the social skills Alexxis will learn there.
Around 6 p.m. we arrived back at Ambers. Alexxis was in her swing when Amber bent down in front of her and said, "Mommy's home." As she smiled at Amber, I peeked at her from up over the top and said, "Grammies here." Alexxis' little face lite up with lots of smiles and she reached for me! I tell you she is such a little sweetheart! I spent a few hours just playing, holding, cuddling, stealing kisses, ect. before finally wearing her out enough to just sit and cuddle her to sleep for a while. Around 8 p.m., I returned home, happy and content to have had the day to spend with my girls. I wouldn't have spent it any differently even if I could have! What a sweet blessing!
We had a wonderful lunch at Bob Evans and spent several hours in WalMart in the baby section looking at clothes for Alexxis, picking up a few outfits for layaways, ect. From there we headed to Toys...and played for several hours, making some selections, and putting in two layaways --- one mine and one hers. I spent another $85 on items for stocking stuffers, a few outfits, and a toy or two. Alexxis's stocking stuffers are mainly items she'll be needing: a new sippy cup which was too cute to pass up --- with a button on the bottom that says, "the cow says mooooooo!" something Amber is always telling her, LOL! Two packages of tights, one with the cutest frilly ruffles on the butt of them. {Hey, I couldn't resist!}, some more spoons, some small lidded bowls, and a variety of other necessities like socks, ect. I ended up with 3 more toys somehow, too.
Amber and I were discussing Christmas and thinking since Alexxis will be only 8 months at Christmas that we'd both wrap some toys up for Christmas and keep the others to give to her later. That works well for me as we both purchased a lot of educational type things and some are beyond her current scope of concepts and can easily be given to her later. We also talked about having her picture taken at Christmas and another one with Santa, how she'll love the gifts we each choose for her, things we want to teach her, discovering the world with her, ect.
Amber is an excellent mom, She's so much fun to watch interacting with Alexxis and is just as silly as the baby is. She full of laughter, delight, and imagination and is teaching Alexxis these things. She talked about tapping Alexxis's hand the other day and telling her "No." for the first time and how it upset her when Chris's mom said "she's too little to understand that." Amber is a firm believer that no age is too young to start anything.
We also talked about family traditions. Things that her and I did together, sillly things, like having "an upside down day" Were we stayed in our pj's, had meals backwards, watched TV, and just spent time playing together. Amber remembers those days and me spending time coloring with her in her coloring books, LOL! We talked about the importance of family mealtime, table manners, and Amber was surprised when I told her about my childhood. How Sundays had a "blue law" and you couldn't shop or buy anything so Sunday's were spent at Grandma's preparing meals, eating together, and playing games. Amber was like, "I didn't know that, Mom. That is so cool! Can we start doing that with Alexxis?" {Yes, honey, of course we can.} We talked about Amber finding a church to belong to, how she worries about some of the things she does, her concerns, etc. However, she knows the importance of teaching her early and the social skills Alexxis will learn there.
Around 6 p.m. we arrived back at Ambers. Alexxis was in her swing when Amber bent down in front of her and said, "Mommy's home." As she smiled at Amber, I peeked at her from up over the top and said, "Grammies here." Alexxis' little face lite up with lots of smiles and she reached for me! I tell you she is such a little sweetheart! I spent a few hours just playing, holding, cuddling, stealing kisses, ect. before finally wearing her out enough to just sit and cuddle her to sleep for a while. Around 8 p.m., I returned home, happy and content to have had the day to spend with my girls. I wouldn't have spent it any differently even if I could have! What a sweet blessing!
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Inbetween...
changing, feeding, playing, snuggling, laughing with Alexxis today, getting dinner on the table, and the dishes done, I managed to get the silk screenprinting frame prepped for beginning! I just got the image drawn on the screen and will upload the photographs for you. Enjoy the journey! {I am! (along with all the possibilities) Gotta love that!}
The JOY's of being a grandma...
I have Alexxis again today! Mommy and Daddy have been job hunting. Diligently, I might add. I think in some ways my conversation with Amber on Saturday made her realize that this is truly a temporary problem, and no matter how bad you think you have it, there is always someone who is a little worst off. I can understand her disappointment and her desiring a better life for herself, her family, her little one. I can understand her becoming depressed and I can sense and know when she needs a 'cheerleader" in her court. And on Saturday, that is what I was... not a friend, not her "mother" {in the "lecturing" sense of the word}, but a listener and a life coach and someone who will always be there, picking her up when she falls downs, dusting her off, helping her to stand on her own two feet once again. That's my job as her mom, no matter what age she is. It is the very same thing that my mom is to me! My confidaunt, caring encourager --- regardless of small, how seemingly meaningless my biggest concern is to her.
Anyways, I've been caring for Alexxis, both her and at her home, while Mommy and Daddy are working on resume's; going through the phone book for possible places for employment, looking in the paper and online. Running here and running there. The good news is Amber is at an interview as we speak. It is a temporary full-time position expecting to last only three weeks --- but it is something until something better comes along. She also has been through two interviews with another company. Yesterday when checking on it, she was informed that she was the first one to be called and they were hopeful that she'd be available when the opportunity becomes viable for them to need her. {A possible contract has stalled: but still looks promising!}
Please keep my dd, her family in your thoughts and prayers; like all of us, they deserve a good break now and again.
Anyways, I've been caring for Alexxis, both her and at her home, while Mommy and Daddy are working on resume's; going through the phone book for possible places for employment, looking in the paper and online. Running here and running there. The good news is Amber is at an interview as we speak. It is a temporary full-time position expecting to last only three weeks --- but it is something until something better comes along. She also has been through two interviews with another company. Yesterday when checking on it, she was informed that she was the first one to be called and they were hopeful that she'd be available when the opportunity becomes viable for them to need her. {A possible contract has stalled: but still looks promising!}
Please keep my dd, her family in your thoughts and prayers; like all of us, they deserve a good break now and again.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
It has been a busy day!
I awoke at 5:30 a.m., however, quickly climbed back into bed and off to sleep once again until about 6:30 a.m. That is when the alarm went off, as Don would be driving my dad to and from the hospital for a minor surgery today. Anyways, a while back my dad went to the ER with something irritating his eye. Upon administering an eye wash and prescribing him an antibiotic drops to apply to prevent any possibility of infection, he was referred over to Dr. Burton, an eye specialist. Dad had an appointment with him several weeks ago, and during that visit discovered he is developing cataracts and Dr. Burton decided to remove them before they became worse. So, today was the first surgery to remove one on one eye and the second will be done at a later date. Dad went through the out-patient surgery well... came home this afternoon with a minimal amount of pain after the procedure. He returns tomorrow for a follow-up post-op visit where he will discuss the condition with Dr. Burton and I assume preparations for his follow up care and upcoming surgery.
Unable to go along because the only vehicle we have running is the Ford Ranger and it is a standard and small to say the least, I stayed at home and kept myself occupied. I've started on my fall cleaning; just a bit here and there, mainly in our kitchen since I am desiring to get in there soon and tackle painting the remaining part of it. Made a wonderful breakfast of bacon, fried potatoes, and eggs, cleaned up the dishes afterwards and swept and mopped the floors.
While I worked, I kept thinking about the decorating that I am desiring to do around here. After the kitchen is finished being painted red, I'd like to explore my options for new curtains. I have yet to make it to Calico Corners where I seen the wonderful fabrics online that I loved. I'm thinking I'd rather sew them or have them sewn vs. purchasing them. One of the reason is I'd love to co-ordinate them with some placemats and seat cushions. I also thought that I could use some scraps on some dishtowels and just a little country charm here and there. This sort of surprised me, the country theme --- I've always liked the look but not the clutter. Now, I'm not talking total country... just an eclectic mix with a bit of country! I am intending to keep my rooster theme...... I'd just like to add a few things. Maybe a braided rug under the table, a few woven rugs, on in front of the sink and another at the back door... just to assist creating that warm, cozy, nostalgic look. So I did an internet search for some, I did find some at http://www.countrystylehome.com in a barn red; nice but not quite what I'm wanting. Isn't it strange how that works, you get this picture in your mind and cannot get it out. You know what you want, yet cannot find it. Well, I know in time I will; I just have to have some patience. But I did manage to find a few items that I am desiring. From www.tenderhearttreasures.com I found the perfect set of mixing bowls! The item # is 107687 Autumn Riches Mixing Bowls and are $34.95 for a set of 4. I will definately will be ordering these soon! I absolutely adore the colors, the functionality of them, and the style. I, also, found a few other items that I thought I'd put on my Christmas list:
Unable to go along because the only vehicle we have running is the Ford Ranger and it is a standard and small to say the least, I stayed at home and kept myself occupied. I've started on my fall cleaning; just a bit here and there, mainly in our kitchen since I am desiring to get in there soon and tackle painting the remaining part of it. Made a wonderful breakfast of bacon, fried potatoes, and eggs, cleaned up the dishes afterwards and swept and mopped the floors.
While I worked, I kept thinking about the decorating that I am desiring to do around here. After the kitchen is finished being painted red, I'd like to explore my options for new curtains. I have yet to make it to Calico Corners where I seen the wonderful fabrics online that I loved. I'm thinking I'd rather sew them or have them sewn vs. purchasing them. One of the reason is I'd love to co-ordinate them with some placemats and seat cushions. I also thought that I could use some scraps on some dishtowels and just a little country charm here and there. This sort of surprised me, the country theme --- I've always liked the look but not the clutter. Now, I'm not talking total country... just an eclectic mix with a bit of country! I am intending to keep my rooster theme...... I'd just like to add a few things. Maybe a braided rug under the table, a few woven rugs, on in front of the sink and another at the back door... just to assist creating that warm, cozy, nostalgic look. So I did an internet search for some, I did find some at http://www.countrystylehome.com in a barn red; nice but not quite what I'm wanting. Isn't it strange how that works, you get this picture in your mind and cannot get it out. You know what you want, yet cannot find it. Well, I know in time I will; I just have to have some patience. But I did manage to find a few items that I am desiring. From www.tenderhearttreasures.com I found the perfect set of mixing bowls! The item # is 107687 Autumn Riches Mixing Bowls and are $34.95 for a set of 4. I will definately will be ordering these soon! I absolutely adore the colors, the functionality of them, and the style. I, also, found a few other items that I thought I'd put on my Christmas list:
- #104126 Curved Rattan Basket; priced at $5.95
- 107853 5" Rustic Primitive Star Ornaments; priced at $7.95
- 104758 Estate Green Bird Hook; 3 pc. set; priced at $12.95
And this, I love! I have desired one for a few years now ever since I first laid eyes on it! It is #109826 and called Swan Embrace. It is a wood carving of two swans. I've seen this before and remember the story behind them. The first time I seen them, I remember them being called Soul Mates, and the story is about how swans mate for life and the one broke its neck on the ice and the other swan stayed with it and mourned. I know it's sad, but so touching! This is the most reasonable price that I have found this piece for at $49.95; the Soul Mates one was well over a $100.00!
I also got to thinking {because of the painting in the kitchen} about the can of yellow paint that I purchased when I purchased the kitchen paint. I belive I have finally came to a suitable answer for using it within the living room! I know I've talked about this room before and how it is my biggest decorating challenge and I've decided to treat it as two separate spaces. Well, today, while resting on the couch, I got to looking at the way the light was hitting my gold sheer curtains, and it simply dawned on me! Instead of sponging, glazing, faux-finishing, what about painting only the bottom half of the wall! Sort of like a chair rail style. Well, trust me, it wasn't long after that thought that I was looking at the two walls that are painted and realized that it wouldn't take much in wood trim to add one to them. The west wall has the large picture window and the south wall has the front door with a window on each opposite side of it. Without even measuring, I'm thinking 11 1/2' wide x 30' long, minusing the width of the windows and door, I could get by with purchasing about 4-8' sections of trim! Not too shabby! A low finance project with big impact! Right up my alley....
Monday, September 18, 2006
Weekend wanderings and other thoughts....
Our weekend seems to have once again flown by..... Friday spent at a yard sale with Amber and Alexxis, and upon returning home I decided to keep "Doodlebug" and give mommy a much needed break. Alexxis is becoming such a fun little girl to hang out with and to enjoy. She is discovering more and more of the world around her. She reaches and grasps everything in her way... including grammies bi-focals, LOL! Her hand and eye co-ordination skills are continually developing, she learning to be more vocal. Her newest thing is "growling" LOL! It is so funny! You look at this sweet adorable little girl and out comes this growl to which she giggles with delight! She is beginning to eat! Baby food jars of fruit, fruit juices, and cereal make up the majority of her diet, although she still loves her bottle! I had her until 9:30-10 o'clock and if it wasn't for Chaos making such a ruckus while outside, I would have kept her overnight.
On Saturday Don worked while I felt truly inspired. I got nothing new created but the ideas for creations seemed to pour out of me. If only I could create theings as fast as I envision creating! Don returned home and desired to take me out for dinner since I've been dutifully working away in our home the last several weeks, so we took a short road trip over to Lexington to eat at the Dutch Heritage restaurant. Delicious Amish cooked buffet...... yumm! After eating, we drove into Galion and visited with Dennis and Sheila for a while, catching up with one another's lives before returning home to rest and relax.
Yesterday, we spent some time in the morning and early afternoon watching TV. I watched a few episodes of Wive Swap. This is the first time I have watch this reality based show so I was a bit surprised by how different some of the people being featured on this show live from our own daily lives. I could see how life truly is made up of being in a constant state of determining balance so I guess that I too walked away with something from watching it. In the afternoon, Don was restless and suggested we take a drive...... one of those going-no-where-in-particular rides.
We ended up in Lima, Don desiring to drive to Ft. Worth! I persuaded him to stay in Lima where we ventured into Pier 1 Imports and simply browsed. Another stop into TJ Maxx where I picked up Alexxis a new outfit ---a pair of pants, a top, and a vest set --- in a 12 months size. Hopefully, that will get her through the winter. As we headed back east, towards home, neither of us desiring to come back too early, Don suggested what I was thinking about, stopping in Kenton at KMart. We browsed there, I found two more outfits for Alexxis...... both reasonably priced, one 2pc. reg. priced 4.99 each for a sale price of 2/$7 and another pants and shirt for $9.99. I ventured into the Toys Department and found several things on clearance and another couple of toys for regular price. I found a Fisher Price light up musical stacker, a mucical toy that plays, "Itsy Bitsy Spider", a Baby Eistein Frog that sings, counts, and says the alphabet, and a child's walking assisting toy that feautures a multitude of other things, and a pull along caterpillar. Some of the toys were age appropriate for her.... 6 months, while a few of the others were items she will grow into. I also found some fleece blanket sleepers with the feet in an 18 month size, so all these things went into a layaway for Christmas.
Upon returning to our hometown, I stopped at Amber's to give her the 3 outfits I'd purchased for Alexxis. I thought that it would help to ease her mind a little, as I know that they are struggling some financially. Chris was recently laid off from his job and Amber is still looking for something part-time so she can spend some time with Alexxis.
My heart feels so heavy for her. She is becoming depressed, and tearfully tells me that this isn't the life that she envisioned for her daughter. I feel terrible, wishing that somehow I could help, yet knowing that I am doing what I can, when we can - to try to assist them and that we cannot do it all for them. It is so hard sometimes, drawing those boundaries ........ although I know Amber is grateful for what I am doing, I can sense a kind of resentment towards me for doing what she isn't able to do right now. She has been self-reliant for a long time.... even working full-time while in high school, earning and saving for her car, insurance, clothes. Of course, I've always been able to help off and on and ease some of the tight spots, I know going through this stage in her life is difficult for her.
I try not to say anything... not desiring for her to take my intentions the wrong way. I know she feels like she has let herself, Chris, and Alexxis down and doesn't need me to interfere. I struggle with those boundaries daily... when to say or do something, how much is enough and how much is too much. And I know I have to let her go and figure some of these things out on her own. It is just difficult to see your children unhappy........ yet Alexxis certainly knows how to bring a smile to face and make her realize what is truly important in life! In the meantime, I do what I can without being taken advantage of, and watch as their lives unfold, knowing someday it will all come together for her and regardless of it all that I am here. She isn't too comfort with that right now but still appreciates it.
I honestly believe this is probably the hardest thing that I have ever had to do in my entire life... let go of my child. You think that you're ready for it when it happens, then miss them so terribly, try to be there and guide them.... gently yet not step on their toes in the process. As a mother you just want to wipe all their pain, their tears away, and tell them that it is going to be alright, and encourage them a little bit more to never let go of their dreams.
On Saturday Don worked while I felt truly inspired. I got nothing new created but the ideas for creations seemed to pour out of me. If only I could create theings as fast as I envision creating! Don returned home and desired to take me out for dinner since I've been dutifully working away in our home the last several weeks, so we took a short road trip over to Lexington to eat at the Dutch Heritage restaurant. Delicious Amish cooked buffet...... yumm! After eating, we drove into Galion and visited with Dennis and Sheila for a while, catching up with one another's lives before returning home to rest and relax.
Yesterday, we spent some time in the morning and early afternoon watching TV. I watched a few episodes of Wive Swap. This is the first time I have watch this reality based show so I was a bit surprised by how different some of the people being featured on this show live from our own daily lives. I could see how life truly is made up of being in a constant state of determining balance so I guess that I too walked away with something from watching it. In the afternoon, Don was restless and suggested we take a drive...... one of those going-no-where-in-particular rides.
We ended up in Lima, Don desiring to drive to Ft. Worth! I persuaded him to stay in Lima where we ventured into Pier 1 Imports and simply browsed. Another stop into TJ Maxx where I picked up Alexxis a new outfit ---a pair of pants, a top, and a vest set --- in a 12 months size. Hopefully, that will get her through the winter. As we headed back east, towards home, neither of us desiring to come back too early, Don suggested what I was thinking about, stopping in Kenton at KMart. We browsed there, I found two more outfits for Alexxis...... both reasonably priced, one 2pc. reg. priced 4.99 each for a sale price of 2/$7 and another pants and shirt for $9.99. I ventured into the Toys Department and found several things on clearance and another couple of toys for regular price. I found a Fisher Price light up musical stacker, a mucical toy that plays, "Itsy Bitsy Spider", a Baby Eistein Frog that sings, counts, and says the alphabet, and a child's walking assisting toy that feautures a multitude of other things, and a pull along caterpillar. Some of the toys were age appropriate for her.... 6 months, while a few of the others were items she will grow into. I also found some fleece blanket sleepers with the feet in an 18 month size, so all these things went into a layaway for Christmas.
Upon returning to our hometown, I stopped at Amber's to give her the 3 outfits I'd purchased for Alexxis. I thought that it would help to ease her mind a little, as I know that they are struggling some financially. Chris was recently laid off from his job and Amber is still looking for something part-time so she can spend some time with Alexxis.
My heart feels so heavy for her. She is becoming depressed, and tearfully tells me that this isn't the life that she envisioned for her daughter. I feel terrible, wishing that somehow I could help, yet knowing that I am doing what I can, when we can - to try to assist them and that we cannot do it all for them. It is so hard sometimes, drawing those boundaries ........ although I know Amber is grateful for what I am doing, I can sense a kind of resentment towards me for doing what she isn't able to do right now. She has been self-reliant for a long time.... even working full-time while in high school, earning and saving for her car, insurance, clothes. Of course, I've always been able to help off and on and ease some of the tight spots, I know going through this stage in her life is difficult for her.
I try not to say anything... not desiring for her to take my intentions the wrong way. I know she feels like she has let herself, Chris, and Alexxis down and doesn't need me to interfere. I struggle with those boundaries daily... when to say or do something, how much is enough and how much is too much. And I know I have to let her go and figure some of these things out on her own. It is just difficult to see your children unhappy........ yet Alexxis certainly knows how to bring a smile to face and make her realize what is truly important in life! In the meantime, I do what I can without being taken advantage of, and watch as their lives unfold, knowing someday it will all come together for her and regardless of it all that I am here. She isn't too comfort with that right now but still appreciates it.
I honestly believe this is probably the hardest thing that I have ever had to do in my entire life... let go of my child. You think that you're ready for it when it happens, then miss them so terribly, try to be there and guide them.... gently yet not step on their toes in the process. As a mother you just want to wipe all their pain, their tears away, and tell them that it is going to be alright, and encourage them a little bit more to never let go of their dreams.
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