A few days ago, I was majorly distraught over some not so recent events that took place at my new job. I felt angry, frustrated, disappointed and a multitude of emotions when the incident first occured and I believe I may have blogged about some of this in the past.
Being the "new employee" in an already well established "team", adjusting to my new schedule, learning the ropes and what is expected from me with the little training I've received, lack of trust with some co-workers, problems within the company, being on call vs. having an actual schedule to follow, a major lack of communication, and various other "drama" that seem to rolling downhill and landing upon me that I truly do not need in my life.
Now, I'm not totally ignorant of being "the new kid on the block" when it comes to entering into a new work place. Heck, I even expected some of this when I took this position, but I don't feel I was truly prepared for quite a bit of it when it actually occurred. Anyways, recently the situation came to light again and I ended up in tears over it all after a conversation with my department made me realize just how close I came close to losing my job over a major lack of communication and instruction on filing out a time study sheet which reflected my performance. Without proper instruction of how to fill out the time study sheet, my "job performance" looked like sh*t! which I know wasn't the case ---- as I had received praise ---- one coming from my union steward himself telling me I deserved a raise!
How ironic that after the time sheet study was explained to me by another co-worker, my "performance" on paper improved by so much as 50% that my department head informed me that he went to bat for me to stay....... and, oh, my "probationary period" of 60 days is up.
I'm wondering about the honest and integrity policy of the company somewhat, thinking I'd be really niave if I didn't. I began this job at one of the busiest times of the year, two weeks prior to Christmas. I was shown how to do "store conditioning" in all of 5 minutes by my supervisor, and worked along side a co-worker all of one night before being literally thrown out on my own.
I had a 4 hour orientation, that was more directed to company development history, and geared more towards employees who are hired in as front end employess, baggers and cashiers. During this orientation, I was told I would receive an employee handbook, as they are supposedly at the printer's and my actual union manual would been received in the mail . At the 30 day mark an evaluation, along with a pay raise would take place. HMMMM...... I've yet to receive an employee manual, yet to have had an evaluation, unless you consider a conversation on the sales floor while the store was open and customers were in the store, and I was originally told "I needed to pick up my pace."
Now, I am truly believing the only thing that saved my job is that we do have a union and that the night the incident took place and there wasn't a supervisor or department head on duty, I'd spoken with a co-worker who referred me to our union stewart who spoke with me.
Anyways, my department head will be coming to 3rd shift for a week, supposedly to work more closely with me; although I've heard various other conversations from my co-workers. Some say it is another problem employee, others say it is the general manager of store being unhappy with some of the aspect of the grocery section of our store. But whatever the truth is, I intend on keeping my eyes and ears open and covering my own ass so to speak. All this from a company that supposedly has a "No Harassment" policy, LOL!
I've even began to wonder if this job is worth all of this, but financially we really need what $$$ it is generating right now, especially with the recent Jeep repairs and Don's surgery bills beginning to roll in, not to mention the new grandbaby on the way. Anyways, this additional stress is zapping what strength and resolve I have left and is causing some strain in our home front as well. Funny how $$$ effects so much of one's life.
What I came to realize during all of this, is that somewhere along the line, I've seemed to lost sight of myself, my own needs and desires. So, lately I've been trying to take the time to really do some deep soul-searching. I know that I want to talk with my supervisor asking for some more open lines of communication between the two of us, I want to talk with my union stewart to keep him up to date with these recent events, and the lack of what I feel as an employee needs to be addressed --- like an employee handbook and a union book. I want to be able to go in to work, do my job to the best of my ability, and to go home leaving it all behind me so I can focus on my family, and I want to know just how much of this they think I can accomplish without open lines of communication between myself, my supervisor and department head, and interaction with my co-workers? Really, is this too much to ask?.......
Now, I'm not expecting any miracles......... but please give me a fair chance before you decide to sh*t can me!
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