After cooking baked steak with mashed potatoes and mushroom gravy for dinner last night, Don and I settled in to watch the Super Bowl game. I'm not really into football but I do enjoy a game every now and again. However, my mind wasn't on it... it was churning with all these thoughts and ideas that I have for my art studio. Isn't it funny how that happens? I think that I have so many hopes and dreams of what I want my studio to become. Since my mind can work faster than my hands, the thoughts, ideas, and inspiration just keep brewing, right below the surface, kind of like a good old cup of hot tea, just waiting to be indulged in. It is so easy for me to get lost within those thoughts. Remember, I told you I am an Aquarian, LOL!
So, I sat and thought about my studio. The things that are yet to be done, how I desire to go about doing and accomplishing them. Thoughts and ideas about the things that will change and things that will stay the same. Heck, I even wondered if I will know when it is time to stop? Wondering if I will continue to always think this way? In all reality, I am hopeful that it never ends. Slows down a bit, Yes. But ends? No way! I want to really start using all my supplies and enjoy in the journey of replacing them with new things to hold dear to my heart. Isn't that what this creating art is suppose to be all about? Creating heart treasures and things to cherish and gift to others so that they may tresure and cherish them, too? I want to loose myself in that process, where I am so into what I am creating that I lose all sense of my inner critic and am just swept along on it's current, like a river... although not quite at flood stage, LOL! where my mind was last night.
I did make another startling discovery. I learned that I often hesitate to do something because I'm waiting for the right things or items to manifest themselves into my life. Granted, I have been blessed many, many times over in this journey through manifestation, but I know everything has its limits. Or does it? I often wonder, "Do I dream "big" enough? Does that sound crazy? Do you know what I am trying to say? I think, sometimes, that I am too logical. I find myself often wondering, "What if?" What if I'm wrong about this manifestation thing and there really is something to it? What if, I am not tapping in to it because I'm limiting myself by being logical? It is something for me to think about, that is for certain.
Okay, my dear reader{s}, (You are out there reading, aren't you?) By now, you are probably wondering if this "*@#!(" has lost her mind or what, ROFLOL! But I assure you that I am okay. What brought me around to thinking about this was considering my options for lining the cabinet file drawers. OMG! I can hear you... thinking...how the hell did she get that out of organizing some damn cabinet file? And no, I'm not naturally blonde! {I apologize to those who are.} But trust me, that is how my mind works, LOL! I realize the reason that I didn't make it out into the studio all week to accomplish organizing that darn cabinet was because I am procrastinating. Why? Because I have this insane notion that I'd love to use some embossed or vintage wallpaper to line the drawers with. Isn't that crazy? Like who the hell is going to see it? Does it freakin' matter what I line the drawers with? Hmmm, yes, it matters to me. I will know it is there, just some small, subtle thought about knowing that is.... um... comforting, in a pampering oneself sort of way. So, I didn't go out and complete it. And since I didn't go out to complete it, I wasn't inspired to create the other box that I need to be creating either.
So, here is what I've decided. To make due with what I have available to me. I can always switch out whatever it is that I line the darn cabinet with for the embossed paper or vintage wallpaper when I obtain some. How hard can that be? I suppose it comes down to hearing my father says, "If you can't do something right the first time, then don't do it all!" one too many times. I never thought to question it, but "What if" he is wrong?
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