Thursday, March 20, 2008

CED 2008 ~ Lists...Desires of my heart...

I didn't make it out to finish our jacuzzi maintenance yesterday. It seems as if Mother Nature and Old Man Winter have teamed up once more to throw even more havoc towards the desires of my heart. It rained, I'm talking really rained, nearly 2" by the end of the evening and to add insult to injury the rain turned over to slush, then freezing rain, and finally over to snow once again! How dare you! LOL!

Aren't getting all the good vibes I'm sending out into the universe? Can't you feel the longing for Spring that is within my heart?

Anyways, the snow didn't amount to any accumulation here. Thankfully, but it certainly was somewhat of an annoyance for me. Instead of dwelling on the terrrible joke that Mother Nature was playing on me, I decided to try to make the best of out it that I possibly could.

I believed that there would be a good possibility that I'd have Alexxis yesterday, although I had called and spoken to Amber to see if she could possibly make other arrangements. During our conversation, I explained that Don would be making a trip to Columbus and that I would have loved to go along. I wasn't feeling too comfortable with the idea of taking Alexxis that far from home as it is approximately a 3 hour trip and normally consists of us stopping somewhere along the way for shopping and an easy lunch. I simply dislike the idea of her being straped in a car seat for that length of time, although she does love to ride. Anyways, when I hadn't heard back from her by early morning, I checked my cellphone and seen that she had called earlier while I was still sleeping and Don was in the bathtub. I checked my voicemail to discover that she hadn't left a message, so I attempted numerous time to telephone her back only to get kicked into her voicemail. Around 9 a.m. Don ran some errands in preparation of leaving, and by 9:45 a.m. he was ready to leave. Not hearing from Amber, I decided to stay at home so as not to leave her stranded without childcare.

Shortly after 10 a.m. my cellphone rang and it was Chris, who informed that he had been in a meeting and couldn't answer his cellphone at the time but that Amber had been able to make childcare arrangements with his Mom. He apologized profusely to me once he realized I had stayed home and not went along with Don.

I wasn't too upset as I was really feeling torn between going along with him and staying home enjoying spending time with Little Miss. But I had no intentions of missing out on both opportunities, but that is exactly what happened. Instead of allowing that to ruin my day,
I decided I was going to try to make the most out of it by doing something enjoyable, something just for me, although my energy level really wasn't at an all time high. I decided to workout for 20 minutes, drank a 8 oz. glass of cold water, and relaxed for approx. 15 minutes while I cooled down. Afterwards, I treated myself to a nice, long soak in the bathtub, shaved my body, gave myself a facial, and then a pedicure! It felt wonderful to be focusing on my self-care, loungingly taking my time, having nothing to hurry towards, just being in that pampering myself moment.

Afterwards, I decided to slip into a fresh, clean pair of pj's and read my bible while I waited for Don to return. Upon his arrival home, I set out to cooking us a lunch, which turned into being our lunch and supper as neither of us were hungry as the evening rolled around.

I'm attempting to lose some weight, although I'm not doing anything special. I have no set diet lined up, just continuing to eat healthy like we normally do, only in smaller portions and increasing my daily activity. So far, it seems to be working; well, at least I'm feeling thinner although I didn't actually weight myself before, during, or after. It just something you feel..... like your clothes fitting more comfortably, LOL! What motivated me to do this for myself is a few weeks ago I noticed that I felt uncomfortable in one of my favorite pairs of jeans. Those jeans were my "feel good" jeans --- meaning whenever I put them on, I felt great! I was happy with the way I looked in them and other people were giving me compliments on how well I looked. Until one day, even my favorite jeans weren't looking so good and I wasn't feeling so good in them. In fact, they were becoming very uncomfortable. Instead of running out purchasing new jeans, I decided I could just slip into something more comfortable like my pj's, sweat pants, anything with some give! What I discovered is that was a huge mistake! I felt as if somehow I gained an additional ten pounds. After realizing that, I thought I'm putting on my favorite jeans, perhaps feeling uncomfortable is exactly the motivation that I need. So, I worn them one day and the next day I noticed another pair of my jeans were just as uncomfortable. This feeling lasted about a week and all the while I was eating smaller meals, drinking more water, and increasing my activity. Today, that all seems to be paying off! As I slid my body into my favorite jeans, I noticed they no longer fit as snuggly and aren't so uncomfortable. That feeling of being uncomfortable really inspired me to do something about my weight!

When I considered that concept, I began to wonder whatelse in my life am I feeling uncomfortable about, and I began making a list. I'm hoping to use that list to push me out of my comfort zone and to where I desire to be. I'm thinking if take baby steps, just as I did with each and every meal, the water I drank, the no eating after 7 p.m., and the increased activity, towards each activity on my list while focusing on each of them a little each day, one day I may just wake up and feel comfortable again with those areas of my life.

I have so many areas of my life that I desire to improve, trust me, they are too numerous to list here, but I hesitate to start sometimes because they are items that I won't see instant gratificaiton from them immediately. Another factor, is that I am being pulled in so many different areas of my life, being a wife, a mother, a grandmother, the daughter of aging parents and that list goes on and on and on...

Well, I can sit and list interfering factors all day long, but I finally decided that if I don't begin addressing these issues now, when will I? I know there will always be a someone and/or a something in the way. What I discovered is that I do not want to put until tomorrow what I should be doing today! So, little by little, I'm working on my list. I know one day I'm going to feel just as surprised by my the rewards of my efforts, just like I did today when I put on my favorite blue jeans!

I know the weather isn't going to be the greatest today. In fact, it may just barely reach 45 degrees, but it will not be raining {at least not on my parade...} and I have every intention of finishing what I have started. So what if it is a little chilly outside, I can bundle up, grab the chemicals, and inbetween putting them in take a short walk around our property inspecting what needs to be done here and there. If I do get cold, I can come in and warm up. I may even desire to wait until I do feel a little uncomforatble just to experience that once again and motivate me to do a little more!

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