I still reeling from the fact that it is November already! I'm sooo not ready for it. I want October back, {big sigh!} I feel I missed out on the cool, crisp mornings spent on the rear deck with a cup of hot coffee, watching the sun rise, meditating on the direction I desire for my life to go. I missed out on the warm autumn days I had so intented to use to capture the beauty of autumn on film, spent exploring and discovering the wonders of nature, and the even cooler than normal evenings spent roasting hotdogs and marshmellows over an open fire. I longed for those days to arrive and when they finally seemed to, somehow they managed to slip through my hands like sand in a never-ending hourglass, silently slipping away.
On Saturday, I deciding that if I can not go back and recapture them, I might as well enjoy the here and now. So, I spent most of my weekend with Don, catching up with one another and "jumping forward" by knocking out some of our Christmas shopping that will be so quickly upon us. We seem to have so little time together since I've been working. It's been a hastily said, "Good Morning!", a quick kiss, a tender moment of holding his hand on the way to pick up a co-worker for work, and in a quick dash, I'm off once again. Trying to make the most of the little time we have, I often rush home to whip up a home cooked meal {or enjoy the luxury of a quick bite taken through having a dinner out} before he leaves to go to work the store in the evenings. Most of our conversations seem to be over the important things such as what needs taken care of, bills to be paid, and making preparations for the next day's hectic pace, only to have him return from work while I'm preparing to head to bed. I miss the small talk, the late nights lounging in bed talking to one another about the unimportant parts of our lives, the gentle teasing and harassing over something stupid one of said or did during the day.
Chaos and I have been spending most of evenings at home, out romping through the falling leaves, or lounging in the house. He is so growing by leaps and bounds; getting ornerier everyday. Unfortunately, this past week I've been in so much pain with an aching right shoulder, it's everything I can do just to take the little guy out to potty. A trip to my chiropractor on Sat. a.m., confirmed I'd slightly dislocated the joint, explaining my hesitation to even click on the computer mouse to check my emails and what little groups I've been forced to now carve out a much smallerl chunk of time for.
As far as any personal goals, I believe I miss having time to be creative the most. I think of coming home and begin tackling the studio re-organization and/or of creating a new project or playing with a new technique, experimenting and exploring more with one medium or another while I am working throughout the day, only to arrive home and desiring nothing more than a warm soak in the tub and my pj's, LOL!
My art library is what has been keeping my well filled while I make sketches in my sketch book, jotting down thoughts and ideas, tips, and techniques on sheets of paper that seem to be my livelihood these days. My dreams of creating haven't lessened, however. I'm still awakened with the thoughts of creating.... often to the point of such vivid dreams that make you want to get up and out and into the studio! Well, at least until your brain kicks in and screams, "Are you nuts, do you realize what time it is? and just how soon it will be before the alarm clock pierces you with its time to rise warning?" And speaking of warnings, this girl is longing to simply go back to bed for at least one more hour of sleep and quiet snuggling beside her man, resting assuredly that somehow, someway the pieces of the puzzle will one day slip quietly all into place....... but knowing the only place she'll be slipping into is a hot bath tub of water before the mad rush of this Monday actually begins.
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