Making a Commitment to Change.......

~ George Eliot,

once said,

"It is never too late to become what you might have been."

So, I'm beginning to focus my attention, the age old question of, "What needs my attention? What is it that I need to do to become the what I want to be?"

Lately, my attention has been on adjusting my crazy work schedule, home and personal goals of the studio re-organization. Yesterday, that all changed as the Art Idea Journal RR resumed after a hiatus, and I once again realized my commitment to seeing this through to completion. That realization brought me to thinking about the "Music of the heART" swap, and a comment left by Paint Chip reminded me to once again be "taking the time to still take care of your artistic side!" Cindy's comment reminded me of yet another quote:

"We often spend so much time coping with problems along our path

that we only have a dim or even inaccurate view of what's really important to us."

-- Peter Senge

That quote really brought me around to realizing just how important my art is to me. It allows me to express the spiritual side of myself, to truly get in touch with my thoughts and feelings. Unfortunately, it is one aspect of myself that I feel I've been neglecting by not giving into the urge to create.

I realize that often I must draw boundaries, make adjustments in my life, especially since beginning this new job, changes in Don's and mine relationship and health issues. I realized that somewhere along the way of taking care of our home, our family, and our health, that I've somehow forgotten to take care of my own health by denying myself the artistic outlet that my art provides to me in allowing me to express myself.

Then, I realized that I need to face this struggle and resolve it for lately I'm feeling unfulfilled, frustrated, and yes! a little bit of resentment and anger towards all that is interfering and getting in my way.

It seems that I'm striving to be a good worker since I'm the new kid on the block, but today, I realized I am already a good worker. I thought about all the comments and compliments I've received from my co-workers and peers.

It seems like I'm striving to be a good fiance, which agian, I believe I've already proven. It seems that I'm trying to be all these things for other people, that somehow along the way what I'm striving to be is everyone else that I've totally forgotten to be what I need to be to be truly, "Me!"

Anyways, I realized that by bringing my ATTENTION to my TENSION often releases it. So, today, I am making a new commitment. A commitment to change........... a commitment to allow time for myself to be what I desire to be........ AN Artist! And to be an Artist, I must create ART!

So, I, once again am focusing my thoughts back on making the time to get back to the studio re-organization one hour a day so that I can get back to creating the art that I love. And not only will I be re-organizing, I'll be making a commitment to myself to actually create some ART along the way! So, I'm off to look at my schedule so I can find some time to add in an hour of art a day! *BIG SMILES and Waves*