Oh My Goodness! Can it really be "Friday" already? And nearing the end of June??? I honestly don't know where the time goes anymore. This week seems to have somehow slipped right on by... Of course, I've spent my share of it "sleeping!" since Don was released from the hospital on Tuesday. I don't ever remember feeling so tired and sleeping so much in my entire life as I have this week. I'm talking 14-18 hours a day! I believe a lot of it has to do with my body, telling me to slow down and rest and I suppose some of it is from the stress and all the coming, going, and doing that I've done over the course of the past several months. It's strange how life reminds you that you're not 20 years old anymore, LOL! {Not that I'm "that" old - just "older" than I used to be...} and this week, I'm really feeling it.

When I haven't been sleeping, which hasn't been a whole lot of "awake" hours, I've been writing in my journal, going through some older issues of magazines, thinking about art, and doing some much needed "soul searching".

Don's been good to me through all of this; he has been resting as much as I have, although his resting hasn't been spent sleeping like me, but he's been resting more. We ventured out to Hobby Lobby one evening this week and purchased a few things. I found an item that I've been desiring for quite some time on clearance, purchased two pink and white stackable boxes for Alexxis's room to hold whatever Mommy desires, and I picked up a few scrapbook items I'd like to use in altered book I'm intending to create.

Last night, we both NEEDED to just out and about, so we decided to take a short drive, do a bit of shopping, and had an inexpensive dinner out. It was good to just get away, wander leisurely, and just enjoy life!

Today, I intent to continue to rest as I'm still feeling the effects of whatever this is, and after the recent scare of Don's chest pains, I've decided not to push myself and listen to what my body is telling me. So, I've spent my morning "blog-hopping", seeing a lot of wonderful eye candy, sharing in other's lives and artwork being displayed. I'm feeling inspired and am longing to get into my own studio, so perhaps, I'll work on some part and pieces for the Row House swap this afternoon as well.

Well, that's about it... our lives "in the nutshell". I just wanted to post something so everyone who visits would know what's going on with us. I hope to have a more lively and upbeat post soon but right now, I'm just not "feelin' it", kwim? We'll chat soon....

CED 2008 ~

Today, my sister, Mary and her family will board a plane and return to their home and their lives in Texas. While Don and I truly loved having them visit, getting to see them once again, spending time with our family, I have to admit that at other times, getting our large family together, can get a little "nerve-racking."

I suppose that these feelings that I feel are felt by others from time to time and I'm aware that they are caused by any occassion when you mix together a large number of people with a lot of different personalities, histories in their past, all their successes and their failures, their strengths and their weaknesses together.

I also realize that none of us are perfect, but that it almost always begins with everyone attempting to be on their best behavior. Then, little by little, the negativity seeps in... first by a seemingly innocent little joke, or a jab here, or a laugh at another expense. "Little secrets" begin to spill out with the "did you know?" remarks said behind one another's backs and/or the "did you see?" so and so and how they reacted or behaved?

Laying awake last night, attempting to unwind from the past several days, somehow processing all the information of the past several days, these thoughts fluttered around in my head, and a silent tear slid down my face. I wondered why our lives couldn't be different? Why do we have to do this, to behave this way? And what if, instead of tearing one another down, pointing out each others faults and weaknesses, we reached out and helped one another reach our fullest potential with whatever it is that we have to work with? Would it really be so hard to set all these things aside, forgot the past, forgive one another, and learn to love again?

I also know that in reality this is very unlikely to happened, there's just too many memories, too much hurt, too little trust... and distrust. I don't know it all, or have all the answers, or even the faintest idea of how or where to begin to rectify all that is hidden and beneath the surface with each of us, but I'm smart enough to know that it begins with each of us feeling a bit superior, a bit "better", a bit "smarter", a bit "fianancially" better off, of being more capable of ________ {insert anything here}

I also know that it hurts. Not just me, but each of us. And we'll each go on dealing with, or not dealing with it, in our own ways. Lately, for me, my way of "dealing with it" is to simply "get it out", being aware that it is there. Yes, even if and when, it is painful. I either write about in my journal or like today, create another sketch and write down my thoughts and feelings. It may not be "pretty" but I can certainly hope and pray that somehow it's therapeutic, that it will help me cope a little bit better with what the truth is and isn't. So, today, I created this sketch in my old calendar, again using only what I had at hand.

The text reads, "Superiority Complex. She always wondered in her heart what life would be like, if instead of tearing one another down, they helped to show each other their fullest potential." It's the best, I could do to summarize my thoughts and feelings in the small amount of space I had to work with on the page.

When I opened my calendar book back up so that I could scan this in, I couldn't help but notice the quotation I'd found somewhere online and written in previously. It reads, "Speak worthily of trifling things and simply of grand things..." Madeleine de Scudery and how somehow the sketch of the girl I'd created, sort of resembles me when I was a child. Perhaps, its the feelings that I feel or the fact that now as an adult, I'm recognizing these things as "childish behaviors"?

Anyways, I don't want anyone to get the wrong impression of my me or my family. There were some good times shared the past several days. Celebrating my father's 81st birthday together, speaking of days gone by and remembering them fondly and with love. Seeing my sister, Mary, and her hubby Tim, getting to see my nieces grow up and become the beautiful women that they were meant to be.... to have the opportunity to shoot a game a pool with my dad on his beloved pool table, to wash the dishes with my mom at my side, the touch of my brother, Rick's hand on my arm, saying, "I'm sorry" I wasn't there to protect you, {I won't go into that, but it was a meaningful moment for me} and For those things, I am extremely grateful! It was a good time, I only wish, it could have been better.

Just a quick post...

My sister and her family have arrived for their vacation with us on Friday. On Saturday, we celebrated our dad's 81 st birthday at our home. It was a fabulous time spent with my parent's children, our brothers and sisters, their children, and their children's children... all together I believe I counted 12-14 great- grandchildren? We cooked out on the grill, everyone brought and contributed something to add to the feast, and there was a lot of "remember when" going on. The weather co-operated wonderfully and a good time was had by all.

On Sunday, Don and I escorted Tim, Mary and family around to some of our favorite shopping and eating establishments, purchased a Father's day gift for our dad, and returned in the evening to visit once again with our parents.

On Monday, we all sort of did our own thing --- each of us off in different directions, only to meet up again yesterday at our parents for a small pizza party and pool shooting. {My sis is a pretty good "pool shooter" and I was amazed as she hasn't played on Dad's pool table for years!}

I'm continuing to keep up with my journal writing and received Lisa Renea's {from the http://tatteredtiara.blogspot.com/
Row Houses for the swap in the mail yesterday. Lisa's Row Houses are amazing and she's offered a few "sneak peaks" on her blog. I am looking forward to getting back to creating more of my own for the swap later this week. Well, I've a few emails to reply to and a few groups to check in with so I'll post again later.... until then, Live Life Creatively! {*waves*}

CED ~ 2008

What's a girl to do when 99.1% of her art supplies are out in the studio and she's avoiding doing housework? Why... find the .9% of art supplies that she somehow missed. Also, don't question how she somehow missed her Prismacolor pencils stored in can on top of a dresser that's right in front of her face! Just thank her lucky stars and grab that old calendar she's been writing quotations and doodling in and call herself "blessed!"

CED ~ 2008 - Another "Book As Art" and an update

I'm happy to say that our home is really beginning to come together with all the attention that Don and I have so lovingly lavished upon it over the course of the past several months. Yesterday, I focused my attention on the nursery/laundry/computer room, washing, drying, folding and hanging clothes; dusting, sweeping, and straightening. I'm happy to now be able to say that 99.1% of all my art supplies have now been returned to my studio --- where I fully intend for them to stay!

Last night, while watching re-runs on TV, I wrestled with the urge "to create something" when I remembered an old paperback book that somehow didn't make the trip out to the studio. So I decided to fold the pages and create yet another piece of book art. I'm beginning to accumulate quite the collection! When I tire of these books inside our home, I suppose one day they'll grace the shelves and bookcases of my studio. I discovered the example of this one online at

http://www.matthewmeadstyle.com/2008_spring/htm/collage.htm
although, I've seen similar styles online previously and thought why not create one this way? So, there it is.... displayed on a glass shelf in our living cabinet. I love the way this collection of books are reflected in the mirror, although it makes it a bit challenging to photograph them.

I've also got some, "Good News! Bad News!" to report. Scott returned our Jeep Cherokee to us on Tuesday evening. It seems a coupler {sp.?} broke on or near the transfer case, causing the Jeep to jump into 4 wheel drive. I'm not certain what all he did to "fix" it but something about disabling the 4 wheel drive and configuring the computer to the transmission. Anyways, our Jeep is drivable {Yeah!} and Don says it handles like a dream! The "bad news" {why does there has to be such a thing?} is that we'll need to replace/repair the transfer case, if we ever want the 4 wheel drive back. Arghhh! So much for driving in Ohio's winter weather, I suppose... but let's not borrow tomorrow's troubles today, okay?

All in all, we're doing good... we have our health and one another. My sister, Mary and her family will arriving on Friday for a week's vacation with us and our family. Don and I both looking forward to seeing them again and this will Don's and my parents first time of meeting my sweet BIL, Tim. I'm certain that they're gonna love him. Today's agenda is to get out and enjoy some of this wonderful sunshine. You know you gotta grab it between the raindrops and thunderstorms when you live in Ohio, LOL! Chat more soon........ {smiles and waves}

CED ~ 2008 - Spilling...

Sometimes, I've just gotta pour out the contents of my heart, or in this case, thoughts scrambling and scurrying around in my head. Not desiring to spill my recently sour mood out onto anyone else, I turned to writing in my journal. For years, I've admired some journal writer's who are able to pour out their heart and soul onto the pages and have always wondered what it would be like to be so.... unguarded. I guess that this the best word to describe it. Normally, I tend to be a bit cautious with what I say, do, and yes, even what I may write in my journals just because I may not ever know who may one day read the words that I've written. Then, I wonder if the person reading would ever find bits of tiny tid bits written about themselves, or even if they'd be able to understand some of my thoughts or feelings. Well, being in my "sour" mood, I through all caution out into the wind and let it all out. IT'S PROBABLY THEE MOST LIBERATING THING I COULD HAVE EVER DONE FOR MYSELF!!! Now, I know what "spilling' is, LOL! It truly felt wonderful and I even discovered a way to reveal only what I desired to reveal without going into all the sordid details.

What a week! Is all I can truly say!

Scott contacted Don earlier this week. It seems "something" in or on our Jeep's transfer case broke, so it had been slipping in and out of 4 wheel drive while we were driving! No wonder we felt as if we were losing the drive shaft and the bolts on our seats could break at any possible moment. It is still up in the air whether or not the transfer case will need to be completely replaced, or if there's a way to temporarily fix it so it can be driven in 2 wheel drive only. Neither of us look forward to having to go through replacing a transfer case in a Jeep again. We've been down that road once with the '92 model; now with the '98... wouldn't you thing 6 years would be enough time for the manufacturer to get their act together? Oh well, such is life, I suppose... guess we'll know more on the status of it later and thankfully we have Don's truck to rely on, "ole' faithful." It may not look like much but it gets us from point A to B and back! Gotta love that! and it certainly beats being stranded out on some country road!

On Wednesday, while I was finishing up washing down walls and a variety of other things at my parents home, a water line broke while my parents were swapping out a set of washers and dryers. I'll just say the "aftermath" wasn't pretty as all of us there seemed to be frazzled beyond belief. At that point, I wanted to crawl into the nearest hole and hide for awhile, LOL! {After our departure, my parent's did get manage to get the lines repaired without any further incident.}

I also got one of those "phone calls" --- you know the ones that you really don't want to receive... that someone passed away. In this case, it was Chris' grandmother, who also was the mother of a an old friend. I haven't spoken to in years, after we had a major falling out. Anyways, long story short, my presence was requested to assist with Alexxis and it was suggested that I should "pay my respects" since I've known the family since early childhood and over the years. So, needless to say, going to Pat's funeral on Thursday brought up a lot of suppressed memories and mixed emotions, so I took a couple of days off from everything --- just to rest, relax, and focus on me!

And that, my friends, is my intention today! Rest and Relax! Don is out the house and will gone all day, so I have time for some much needed R&R. Our home and any and all obligations will simply have to wait, but I thought perhaps I should check in. I don't know who reads my blog, unless they leave me comments, but so you know... I'm fine and doing as well as can be expected under the circumstances. We'll chat soon, okay?

CED 2008 ~ Stop the ride! I want to get off...

I should have know something was bound to happen. Everything was going along just fine, according to plan; pieces of the puzzle were quietly falling into place, perhaps, a little too easily. I'd managed to rest up, find some time to relax, get Alexxis' curtains created --- even managing to make SpongeBob fabric look a bit more "girl-ier" --- and on Monday, all hell broke loose!

It started when Don appeared in the computer room doorway with that look on his face, the one where you just know before a word is ever spoken that you don't want to hear what he is about to say. It seems "Houdini" aka Chaos broke his steel cable and is now wandering around our neighborhood. Great! It isn't even 8 a.m. and I'm in for an adventure... Luckily as soon as I got dressed to begin "the hunt" and walked out the door, Chaos came near me before darting across the road {Be still, my beating heart.} Between our neighbor's houses he runs, while choose to walk completely around one to head him off, when he surprises me with a sneak attack coming up behind me. The "surprise" turned out to be on him as I was thankfully able to step on the remnants of the broken cable and lead him to the safety of our home.

A trip to Lowe's to purchase a new cable, securing the cable and the dog to a tree in our rear yard, we're once again on our way to my chiropractor's for an upper back and neck re-alignment. Hard work and stress always cause me to become completely out of wack. Once adjusted and feeling as if my jaw bone is now back in its original place, we decide to stop at Perkin's for a quiet breakfast before home to tackle cleaning the refrigerator of leftovers and moving frozen goods from the upright freezer to the smaller one in the side-by-side refrigerator. We wheel the upright out onto the deck for defrosting and get the trash to the curb right before the garbage men show up.

This Monday promises to be a beautiful day, warm, high in the low eighties, sunshine with a few clouds and softly blowing gentle breeze. Don, in an attempt to help me relax, suggests a road trip over to Amish country for which I'm very grateful for. I really need to getaway.... from everything and everybody and do something just for us. So, we're cruising along, down St. Rt. 30 East, singing along with the radio, enjoying the warmth of sun on our bodies, when all of a sudden the Jeep gets louder. Pulling over, we check the Jeep out to discover we've blown a small hole in the exhaust system. Well, we can't do anything about it now, so we continue on our journey and onto a road less traveled. Over hills, around curves, taking in all the late Spring beauty of nature in such a peaceful setting. We drive for hours before finally coming to a stop in Walnut Creek to browse through a few gift shops and stores. In the mid-afternoon, early evening, we stop to get a bite to eat at the Der Dutchman, dining on a fabulous buffet while taking in breathtaking views before we visit their gift shop located across the street. After browsing, making a few small purchases, we decide it's time to begin our journey of heading back towards home. As we travel up over hills, coasting down the opposite side, before climbing up over the next one, seeing the wonderful views that await us, the Jeep periodically decides to "hiccup" and begins missing. Upon entering into Loudonville, Don casually mentions, "it's time for a tune-up" to which I can only agree. We travel through some quaint little Ohio towns where we've visited before in our travels, talking about "remember when" we went shopping through the antique stores, visited with friends who used to live nearby, when the "hiccuping" began to occur more often. I offered up silent prayers, "Lord, please, allow us to arrive home safely." feeling the tension in my body become more and more pronounced. Our next stop is into a Marathon station in Lexington, Ohio, where I breathe both a sigh of relief, and pray a little bit more and longer. Inspecting the Jeep, we find no signs of any major trouble, no "idiot' lights on, no apparent damage, and after a quick restroom break we finally decide to attempt to make it home , hoping to arrive before nightfall.
As luck would have it, we didn't make it too much farther down the road before the "hiccuping" resumed again. Slowing down in an attempt to avoid disaster, 45 mph seems like a crawl while your praying and you begin noticing all the familiar landmarks, hoping to make it to the next one. Just as we turned off of St. Rt. 97 W onto St. Rt. 288, the "hiccuping" worsens, so off the road we go, pulling in to inspect once again. Not finding anything, Don attempts to drive a bit further, against my wishes. By now, my nerves are completely shot but I remain quiet not desiring to complicate our demise further and in less than a 1/4 mile we pull over again --- this time to call for help! A quick telephone call to Shane for a phone number to a towing company we're familiar with, then to the tow truck company, to learn they cannot come out and get us as their rollback is broken down. Another call to our friends, Jim and Rosella who live in Galion for additional phone numbers for a wrecker. One company doesn't even answer the phone and the other, heck I cannot even remember what was up with them. Another call to Shane, another call to for a wrecker.... yes, they can come! Quickly wondering where to have the Jeep towed, we made a phone call to our mechanic, who quickly informed us to call the other company back as he can come and tow us home. Hallelujah! So we provide directions and he is on his way, while we sit, try to smile, laugh, and joke about our misfortune, neither of us wanting to discuss the situation we're in. Approx. 45 minutes later, Scott arrives, disconnects the drive shaft, gets the Jeep onto the wrecker, and we're on our way towards home. We arrive safely at almost 11 o'clock at night. Upon coming out of the house with a check in hand for the tow bill, you'll guess who peeks over the bed of the trailer..... why my wonderful dog, "Houdini!" He broke another cable and had been wondering around loose for who knows how long! Thank God he is safe! I get him and myself into to the house and collapse! What a day!!!!

{We do not know as of yet the status of our Jeep Cherokee... Scott's hoping to look at it today. I just hope and pray that this time, it's "Good News..." and nothing too expensive to repair.}

And life goes on....today, I'm heading back to my parent's to do some cleaning, in an attempt to keep from wondering and worrying, hoping against all odds that somehow, someway, it's all going to be okay.